my current state: estranged

have been listening to [early] ben folds and the strokes alot lately..my musical status is shifting from 90's punk/indie riffs [like dinosaur jr. and pavement and a whole lot of nirvana] to a more modern melodramatic era. my musical phases of course reflect on my emotional and mental health/wellbeing. which are debatable right now..shifting in and out of one to the other..very flaky like. not too different from the angsty ben gibbard lyrics that i grew up to know and love so well..ahh

and as i shoved
 myself out of bed today i recieved a nice little package in the mail ( not the books ive been waiting for) but a cellular phone..one of my old ones. at one point a few years back i felt the need to lock EVERYTHING on this phone, and now cannot access the fucking thing.

i retreat for now...a sign that my Pazazz! is fading, maybe at the same safe speed the hollywood letters crumble.

i find comfort in..street signs? empty classrooms? i don't know anymore. "well that is that and this is this..you get away from me" -modest mouse